An Open Letter To Our New Employee, Donald:

Dear President Trump,
Congratulations on your new position. While I, and many others, did not think you were the best fit for this position, and in fact a majority of us who voted actually selected another candidate, the arcane bylaws of our Constitution have brought us to where we are now. You are the President of the United States. That makes you my President. I know some of my friends are using the hashtag #notmypresident, but I will acknowledge that you are, in fact our President. But more to the point, you work for us now. All of us.

You are, for the first time in your life, an employee. You are my employee, just as you are the employee of every citizen of our country. As such, I have some expectations of you, and I want to share them with you now. I don't want to be the kind of boss that waits for something to happen before speaking. Believe me, I've had bosses like that, and I think that I owe it to you to set clear expectations up front. So, here are a few things I want you to keep in mind as you start your new job.

1. The transition from being a business-owner to an employee can be challenging. When you're a business owner, you get to make the rules as you see fit. As an employee, you have to abide by the rules of the organization you work for. In some businesses, there are Employee Handbooks, Codes of Ethics, Mission Statements, etc. In your new role, the main rules you need to follow are contained in the Constitution. If you haven't done so yet, I need you to read the Constitution as soon as possible. It will help you better understand the role and responsibilities for the new position you have, and, hopefully, help ease the transition from the private to the public sector.
2. The country has been working pretty well these last 240 years. Please don't do anything to jeopardize it's continued performance. We had a significant challenge about 160 years ago, which led to major problems which we are still dealing with. We don't need to add to this.
3. You may have seen the protests that happened around the country-indeed, around the world- today. While I know you may not understand why so many people are so upset, I encourage you to reach out to them and ask them. The best way to avoid trouble in the long-run when you start a new position is to address any concerns as early as possible, and find out how to fix them. Trust me on this one.
4. If you aren't sure what to do about a certain project, just ask us! You have 350,000,000+ employers who are happy to share with you our thoughts about how to address pretty much anything.
5. I often have to remind myself to not take things personally. It can be easy to expend a lot of energy on perceived or real slights and insults. You will feel much better if you follow the advice I often share with others: QTIP. Quit taking it personally. Focus on your job, and not social media. In fact, it's good workplace etiquette to avoid using social media while on the job. 
6. Make sure you get plenty of rest. While you are, per your pre-employment physical, in remarkably good health, you still need to take care of yourself. More rest, more exercise, more fruits and vegetables. However, don't overdo it on the carrots. They can turn your skin orange.
7. Since you started on the job yesterday, I've noticed there seem to be some glitches on the White House website. While I'm sure this will be taken care of, please make sure to call IT as soon as possible. The Civil Rights, Climate Change, and LGBT  stuff is important, even if you don't "get it."
8. If someone from the White House staff starts talking to you about new China, don't panic! They're just making sure that you have dishes to eat your taco bowls on. 
9. Remember the first thing I said, about reading the Constitution? Seriously, do that before anything else. It's pretty important.

I know I just gave you a lot to work on for your first week on the job, but there's no time to waste. Remember, you work for us now. All of us. All 350, 000,000+ of us. We're watching, and making note of everything you do in your new role. While you are committed to a 4-year contract, with an option to extend for another 4 years, don't take that as a given. You'll find, in the Constitution (seriously, you need to read that ASAP), that the ultimate power lies with us, also know as We The People.

Regards,

gp